Thursday, October 22, 2009
I dont Know what To do
maybe if I looked at this situation the point of view from someone else I would have the heart to walk away from something I know is no good. Even Josh said he thinks Eric is no good for me. How many more people need to come into my life telling me he is no good before I will listen. Why does he have this hold on my heart when I swore I would take it back. It's not supposed to be like this. I know inside that I will love again, but why can't this one just let go. Why is is so hard to say goodbye to my past and just let it be done. I truely have no reason to hang on to him anymore. I said all I can say in that letter and still I feel as if I have more to poor out to him because maybe just maybe I havent been honest with myself yet. How is it that I can walk around each day giving people dake smiles, when I know all I was to do if frown and fall asleep because that is the only time I dont feel any pain. My heart aches for someone to be here for me and the people who keep trying I push away. Because I just want Eric. Eric, and just Eric. Can't I just pretend that they are really what I want? No. Because all my pretending will do is send me into over drive and I will cry and cry and cry.
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1 comment:
I don't know what to tell you...Sometimes the heart is unreasonable, you won't always know why it acts the way it does. But if it's holding on for some reason, you obviously have unfinished business with Eric. Maybe if you heard back from him, or talked face to face, you would be at peace. Or maybe you need to meet someone completely new, not someone you've dated before. I don't know what else you can do...It sucks to see you so down, I really hope things get better for you soon!
--Konnor
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