gosha

Jeezo..
So I got asked out on a date for this sunday. I would have no problem with it. Actually I should have no problem with it. I realy shouldnt. He is a sweet guy. He wants me to be his girl. So he says. I want to give him a shot. But his name is a hard thing to get past. Eric. of all names why Eric?

Thanks for all the supporting comments. Its alot more than I got from Eric..the dad not the potential date. by the time this eric thing blows over I am gonna be so confused...the date eric not the dad. see what I mean.

Josh is leaving for college soon. What am I going to do without him. He is the one who talks to me til 4 in the morning when I am crying because I had another dream. Why does everything have to come together then fall apart a second later. I wish I could go back to being a kid. I didnt have any problems. I didnt have any heart ache. No wait I did. I didnt have my daddy. I had my step dad but now my mom hates him. She ruined everything with that. I am sorry that sounds mean but she did. Why did she have to cut us all of from the only fathr figure any of us knew. I really do love him like a dad. But there is a point when I need my real dad. And he doesnt even know he has a daughter.

I am the most depressing person on the planet. Ha care to disagree.

I think I am going to give Eric a chance thought. I cant not give him one just because my ex fucked with my head and my heart. I would be just like the other Eric if I did.

I felt so alone when I woke up this morning. Crazy considering my inbox was full of I love you and I miss you texts and emails. How and I be so loved and not feel it? Wow that sounded really conceited. I swear im not conceited. I actually consider myself a pain in the ass. lol..really I do.

Exhausted from saddness/nightmare?

Final words from my day: A name is just a name until you make it mean something.