Im stupid

ok so Josh is not making this any easier for me. When I tell him how I feel he says "you never know what can happen. everything can change in a second." Yes I know everything can change in a second, but what the hell am I supposed to do until it does change. Gosh Josh I like you so much and your killing me.

Today I finally let go and cried. I went to the bathroom to fix my hair and I just started balling. Is this what it has come to? Having to hide my sadness in the bathroom. Half the time I dont even know why im sad.

I told everyone today that Im not going back to trinity and a few people seemed sad. But the rest were just like ok you gotta do what makes you happy. I am happy they want me to do what I want, but I was kind of hoping a lot more people would protest and tell me I need to come back. Poor Chelsey she was so sad. I am really trying to find a way to go back I just dont see how it can be possible now that the Mill burnt down. All the businesses are going to want to hire people with experience. I have none. So where is my way out.

Maybe going to Colorado is the best thing for me right now. Tasha says she understands, and deep down I know she does, but she really doesnt want me to go. I dont want to leave her. This would be so much easier if I could just take her with me. And Brittany, I dont know what her problem is. Its like I try to be there for her but when I need her she doesnt want to hear anything I have to say. And Christina, well she is all wrapped up in Garth the I cant get through to her anyway.

Maybe I am just being overly dramatic, but hey we all have our moments. And we all get over them...right?