I am so just out of what I should be doing right now. I am way more behind in shcool than I thought, all becasue I switched back. Clint is in jail. I just got a letter from him yesterday. I was so ecited I couldnt even read it. Then when I was writing him I found I had nothing to say. What do you think that means. This past two weeks I have been trying to think of things to say to him, but when it came to actually writing him this damn letter I had to be totally random about it. Im not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

So my BooBoo Bear is getting engaged!!! Hopefully Nick pops the big Q this sunday when they come rescue me. I Am so happy I am friends with Tiffany. She can actually listen to me blab about Paul without getting annoyed because she talks about him just as much as I do. She said she wants me and Paul to go to prom togther. I guess that is a good thing, I mean she likes me. Now I just have to worry about the awkward part with me and Paul for the first little while. I hope they all come. But I guess it depends on whether we all get paid or not...

I met a guy. Well not really met, he got my number from my friend Mikey. Only he is like way sweet and idk I think I am just scared to get close to anyone again because I keep getting hurt.

More when I have time.

Final words from my day: I hate Valentines Day..

wohoo?

So I am not pregnant! I am friends with Paul's girlfriend. And I have to make up 42 credits of schoolwork to do because my old school sucks big as.

I still dont know

So im still not sure yet if I am pregnant.
I cant really believe that I did this.
I never let go and drink like that.
I dont know how 4 beers effected me so much,
because it never has before.
I told Paul and Nick about it.
About what happened.
I really can't recall it all.
I have never gotten that messed up in my life.
I dont understand at all.
But what can I really do about it now.
If I am pregnant I will take care of the baby.
This is my mess up and I need to deal with it.
I know one thing though,
I am never drinking with people I just met,
EVER AGAIN!

I have let Paul go as anything more than my best friend
I asked him to be the God Father
well him and Nick
And I asked Tasha to be the God Mother
I know im not 100 % sure yet but I was emotional and I just asked.
They all said yes.
I told Eric to stay out of my life
no more calling
no more texting
no more stopping by
because it always ends in a fight and me crying
I cant handle him anymore
I really dont want Clint to go to jail
but in less than 6 days that is exactly what is going to happen
I know none of this makes any sense right now
I will explain it better when im not freakin out

I really dont know where to go from here..

Still bein Watched

its probably a good thing they are watching me now

suicide Watch

my friends have pulled out their suicide watch faces. I cant handle bein watched like this. I might freak out. But I know they just have my best intentions at heart. In way I am glad. They are the only people keepin me here right now.